When I was in school there was a kid a couple grades younger than me and we always used to play ultimate frisbee with our friends. He would always ask, "Are we friends?" and I would say yes, and then a little time would go by and he would ask again. Eventually he joined the army and has made it a major part of his identity and I respect him and I am glad of the person he has become. The military offers a life path and a sacred bond by brotherhood, and that is what my friend needed, but it makes me sad that it uses them for violence and accomplishes it via swindled taxpayers and the corrupt MI complex. I think we need to offer our own brotherhoods where we can so that we all have a stable love burning under us, and I think that's what you're getting at with:
"The burning bleating
eventually fades —
As we sit silently and
enjoy our meals
in peace."
I disagree with the sentiment of the last stanza as I interpreted it, though. As far as I can tell it's implied that peaceful people feast on those "lambs" drawn to "the slaughter," which kinda reminds me of that scene from [The Menu] if you've seen that, but I can't help but feel that their getting minced is our responsibility in a way because we haven't offered them an alternative to the spoils and consequences of soldierhood, and so the comedy falls short for me. Good poem, keep going with these anti-war poems, I'm excited for your live reading on Saturday!
First of all, thanks so much for the detailed comment! And thank you for reading so closely.
Some thoughts:
1. I'm not sure if you know my background, but I was in the Navy from 2002-2012, mainly submarines, but then deployed to Afghanistan in 2011. So I label these antiwar, because they are, but I fully empathize with you friend. If someone would have told me when I joined I was lamb to be slaughtered I would have been offended and insulted. I wanted to join the military since I was like 10. It wasn't until I saw Afghanistan that the realities of war hit me.
2. I agree with your disagreement! You completely captured exactly what I was going for. The only mistake I made perhaps is I didn't mean this as comedy, I meant it sincerely. But I think I am perhaps too cynical and jaded it comes across as dark humor. But I was trying to pose the consideration we've outsourced this responsibility to volunteers, but is that good, should we be doing this? So, exactly yes, I meant that 'getting minced' is our responsibility as you say.
3. I leaned in perhaps too much on the cliche and bitterness perhaps, of which, I have many, but maybe I should pull it back at the end of these.
4. I love the movie the menu, well the performances especially and the food. I think there is a bit of a CEO-killer-luigi aspect to the Menu though where it's the correct observations, wrong conclusions. What ultimately did Chef Slowik accomplish after all? But perhaps I'm making the same mistake as that movie as using this kind of dark irony but not offering a hopeful perspective.
So, I'm running in between events right now, but I really wanted to respond to you because you took such a nice part of you day to write this. I find that my military experience really has so many layers and the problems is quite too big. I at the same time feel proud but also ashamed. I feel honor but also disgust. In prose, it doesn't make sense I think -- but hopefully though poetry, these observations can come out.
Lastly, I misspoke so I'm live SUNDAY January 12th. Saturday the 12th doesn't exist. But I don't yet know the time.
Hey thanks for the response, and yeah, I knew this was coming from a place of understanding, it was just the last stanza that threw me for a loop. I get that too though, sometimes poems just take a life of its own especially near the end. I do think this poem leaned into the dark irony, but some of your others I’ve read definitely do have that hopeful perspective. It is just my interpretation, though, and poems often lend themselves to so many subjective interpretations because they use few words. I’ll keep a lookout on Sunday for your live reading, thank you for your service!
When the propaganda is strong, you don't need to use force
Yeah, unfortunately this turned out to be more effective.
Excellent work, as always. It reminds me of William Blake’s “Answer to the Parson.”
“Why of the sheep do you not learn peace?
“Because I don’t want you to shear my fleece.”
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When I was in school there was a kid a couple grades younger than me and we always used to play ultimate frisbee with our friends. He would always ask, "Are we friends?" and I would say yes, and then a little time would go by and he would ask again. Eventually he joined the army and has made it a major part of his identity and I respect him and I am glad of the person he has become. The military offers a life path and a sacred bond by brotherhood, and that is what my friend needed, but it makes me sad that it uses them for violence and accomplishes it via swindled taxpayers and the corrupt MI complex. I think we need to offer our own brotherhoods where we can so that we all have a stable love burning under us, and I think that's what you're getting at with:
"The burning bleating
eventually fades —
As we sit silently and
enjoy our meals
in peace."
I disagree with the sentiment of the last stanza as I interpreted it, though. As far as I can tell it's implied that peaceful people feast on those "lambs" drawn to "the slaughter," which kinda reminds me of that scene from [The Menu] if you've seen that, but I can't help but feel that their getting minced is our responsibility in a way because we haven't offered them an alternative to the spoils and consequences of soldierhood, and so the comedy falls short for me. Good poem, keep going with these anti-war poems, I'm excited for your live reading on Saturday!
First of all, thanks so much for the detailed comment! And thank you for reading so closely.
Some thoughts:
1. I'm not sure if you know my background, but I was in the Navy from 2002-2012, mainly submarines, but then deployed to Afghanistan in 2011. So I label these antiwar, because they are, but I fully empathize with you friend. If someone would have told me when I joined I was lamb to be slaughtered I would have been offended and insulted. I wanted to join the military since I was like 10. It wasn't until I saw Afghanistan that the realities of war hit me.
2. I agree with your disagreement! You completely captured exactly what I was going for. The only mistake I made perhaps is I didn't mean this as comedy, I meant it sincerely. But I think I am perhaps too cynical and jaded it comes across as dark humor. But I was trying to pose the consideration we've outsourced this responsibility to volunteers, but is that good, should we be doing this? So, exactly yes, I meant that 'getting minced' is our responsibility as you say.
3. I leaned in perhaps too much on the cliche and bitterness perhaps, of which, I have many, but maybe I should pull it back at the end of these.
4. I love the movie the menu, well the performances especially and the food. I think there is a bit of a CEO-killer-luigi aspect to the Menu though where it's the correct observations, wrong conclusions. What ultimately did Chef Slowik accomplish after all? But perhaps I'm making the same mistake as that movie as using this kind of dark irony but not offering a hopeful perspective.
So, I'm running in between events right now, but I really wanted to respond to you because you took such a nice part of you day to write this. I find that my military experience really has so many layers and the problems is quite too big. I at the same time feel proud but also ashamed. I feel honor but also disgust. In prose, it doesn't make sense I think -- but hopefully though poetry, these observations can come out.
Lastly, I misspoke so I'm live SUNDAY January 12th. Saturday the 12th doesn't exist. But I don't yet know the time.
Hey thanks for the response, and yeah, I knew this was coming from a place of understanding, it was just the last stanza that threw me for a loop. I get that too though, sometimes poems just take a life of its own especially near the end. I do think this poem leaned into the dark irony, but some of your others I’ve read definitely do have that hopeful perspective. It is just my interpretation, though, and poems often lend themselves to so many subjective interpretations because they use few words. I’ll keep a lookout on Sunday for your live reading, thank you for your service!