29 Comments
User's avatar
Joey Kenney's avatar

Keep doing what feels right to you! When reading this I felt "Cutting through all the bullshit and finding who I really am"

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Josh Datko's avatar

Ok, that settles it :)

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Lucius the Cynic's avatar

The format of the piece helps me feel the internal distortion. It's like I am trying to complete a thought that refuses to make sense of itself.

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Josh Datko's avatar

Y'all are being too kind. I wish the words fit the image better tbh. But then the question is, is the poem the image or is the image the poem? Idk!

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Phoenix F.'s avatar

I like the wavy version more. It is gives it the static fuzz.

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Benno's avatar

Loved the Burroughs vibes in this one! And though I get the radio waves graphic element, I preferred reading the traditional version

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Josh Datko's avatar

I should probably know but do you have examples? I'll dig in!

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Benno's avatar

Sorry, but examples of what?

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Josh Datko's avatar

Of which Burroughs works to which you referred. Or maybe it was a title?

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Benno's avatar

Gotcha! He has a lot of interesting recordings:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k5gTM41FJnE

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RVhyOIe1okc

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Josh Datko's avatar

Oh man, wow. Ok. I anticipate loosing a day of my life very soon to this. These are amazing. So glad I asked :) Thank you!

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Amadeusz Motyl's avatar

I really like this format, reminds me a bit like the House of Leaves haha

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Josh Datko's avatar

I feel like I've heard of this, but not read it, I'll will add it to the list!

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Amadeusz Motyl's avatar

House of Leaves is very crazy good book, you may get confused for the first time, so get prepare for this book before you read

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Mike Web's avatar

The wavy version was cool. Super creative man!

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Josh Datko's avatar

sweet, thanks :)

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Simon's avatar

I like the wavy version! It opens the poem for more interpretations, and is nice to look at :)

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Josh Datko's avatar

Thanks for that! These visual style always appealed to me, like Lewis Carrols mice poem in Alice in Wonderland.

I should have more confidence, but it was a monday morning after all 😴🥱

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Laura's avatar

The two versions make me *hear* this differently, and sorry, I love both.

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Josh Datko's avatar

Ah, see, I should have stuck to my gut instinct. Thanks for the note!

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Laura's avatar

I LOVE BOTH

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Martin Garcia's avatar

I preferred the wavy version: It made me fell like a radio wave being broadcasted - it made me feel like coming into resonance as the structure became tighter.

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Josh Datko's avatar

Dude, thanks, I feel heard.

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Reyen Reyes's avatar

i loved the words.... but the spaces in between confused me! would you mind explaining it briefly?

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Josh Datko's avatar

Ok, I added the classic formatted one. Which do you prefer?

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Josh Datko's avatar

Yeah, I wasn't sure if it worked, but figured to try it. Maybe I'll post it without the spaces too. I was kinda trying for a wavey feel. Appreciate the feedback.

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Sandforte's avatar

Another cool usage of spacing all over the poem! Such fire 🔥

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Josh Datko's avatar

You can illustrate beautiful with drawing, I'm only a troglodyte with a space bar :) haha

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Sandforte's avatar

You showed me the possibilities of creative spacing in poetry, and I can only thank you again!

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